I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
