I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
People in love make me want to vomit
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
