a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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