I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
