So gin and wine won't be happening again
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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