You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
