ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
