i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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