apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
