can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
