sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
