Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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