shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My ass is underappreciated
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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