hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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