I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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