Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
