So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
