i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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