It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
