what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dick very happy bro
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
