oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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