I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
