This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
