Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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