i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
