if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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