After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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