It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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