How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
