I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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