I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
