how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
