Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
