Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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