Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
