Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!

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(719): View more from Colorado

Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?

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(312): View more from Illinois

Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

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(647): View more from Ontario

Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.

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(894): View more from

just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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(658): View more from

Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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(519): View more from Ontario

Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low

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(604): View more from British Columbia

honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor

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