I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize