My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
