from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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