Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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