I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That's intense
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
