4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
