Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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