You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
