Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
