i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
