I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
