At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
