is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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