so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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