I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
